Breastfeeding: Beginning the Journey
This topic is near and dear to my heart, breastfeeding. The information in this post goes out to all the brave breastfeeders, breastfeeders-to-be, and breastfeeding supporters out there. From the beginning of my breastfeeding journey with my son I’ve been fortunate enough to have a little bit of knowledge from taking a class and reading some books. I’m also so thankful that I have the full support of my husband. He is a champion for breastfeeding if there ever was one, and even encouraged me to nurse in public without a cover if that was easier and more comfortable. From the beginning I knew that I wanted to breastfeed, what I didn’t know was exactly how challenging that would be.
To all the mamas that have chosen not to breastfeed or are unable to, know that my heart is with you too. This writing is meant to recount my experience, offer support to those who need it, and in no way place any judgement on any style of parenting or feeding relationship. You can still bond and have a healthy and connected relationship with your little one.
After we took the class I thought that I would be able to navigate all of the challenges with ease. I honestly believed I would be a champion at this, I mean our bodies were made to do this right? I couldn’t have been more wrong.
What I Wish I Knew
The initial latch after I welcomed my son into this world was like a dream. We both did everything we were supposed to do and the midwives were so thrilled. Once we got to our recovery room though we just couldn’t get in back into the groove. My son loved to have his hands up by his face (even before he was born, the proof is in the ultrasound photos), which made it hard to move everything where it needed to be. We were constantly asking the lactation consultants and nurses to watch us and correct our process if needed. Some of their advice was helpful, but over and over again I just kept hearing “everything looks good”.
Well it didn’t feel good. The pain was real, and like nothing I’ve ever experienced before in my life. When you are in that much pain you do anything to make it stop, anything in your power. But I did not want to give up breastfeeding, I didn’t even want to consider it as an option. So I scoured the internet for pearls of wisdom from the moms who have been there before me. I had already heard all of the information about latch, tongue ties, lip ties, and breastfeeding positions. I had already tried all of these, I needed something else.
Here is a list of 9 things that I learned to keep in mind throughout the process. These helped me survive those first couple weeks and led me onto later breastfeeding success!
1. Reading about real experiences
I looked for a lot of expert advice when I was managing pain, but nothing helped more than knowing I was not alone. I remember thinking that if only I knew when it would get better I could gain back some sanity. Having the experts say anywhere from 2 days to a few weeks just wasn’t matching with my experience. Once we hit the 4 week mark I started feeling like something was wrong with me. After doing a little digging I found some forums where many moms were saying that really it can take 4 to even 8 weeks to see improvement. Their stories validated my experience.
2. Figuring out that I have sensitive skin.
For some reason those of us with fair and sensitive skin might just have a harder time breastfeeding initially. I’ve always been in denial about having sensitive skin, but this experience really confirmed it for me. Nothing can really prepare your body for the friction and suction that it is about to endure. But knowing that it wasn’t my fault, just the way I am, helped a little.
3. The idea that there was inner nerve damage
During the first few days I developed a blister. My goodness, that just made everything worse. But I persevered and continued to nurse through the pain. Once that healed there and there was no visible damage to the skin I continued to experience pain. I kept thinking maybe I had thrush, but there was no evidence to support that. My husband suggested that perhaps the compression had led to nerve damage, that in addition to the suction was making it hurt. I believe he was right. I’ll get to the latch in a little bit, but for the time being I had to just accept that this would take time to heal.
4. Small baby, small mouth
I had a small baby. He was just over 6 pounds at birth. I was a small baby too, not even 6 pounds. When I reached out to my own mother for support she told me that her experience was very similar. I started putting some of the pieces together. If the process of latching my son onto the breast looked good to the experts, and all things on the outside were fine, what was going on inside his mouth? And remember, he does not have a tongue tie or lip tie. I remember feeling like there were only a handful of times that I could really get the latch to be painless, I felt like I had very little margin for error. In my case I feel like I had to just have to wait for my baby’s mouth to get a little bigger and for him or her to get better at sucking and swallowing. I had to keep in mind that this is a difficult process and everyone is learning.
5. Really work on getting a good latch every time
Pretend your breast is like a sandwich. Try to mimic the motion you would use to make sure you get a taste of all the ingredients in your first bite. Honestly I tried this so many times, we worked on position and latch a lot. When I went to see lactation consultants it helped to know that I was doing everything in my power correctly. I highly recommend taking a breastfeeding class if you are able so you have some knowledge going in. This helped give me a goal to shoot for when I felt like I was failing.
6. Taking a chance on the bottle and pacifier
My husband was hesitant to try this at first, but honestly it was one of the best things we did. Most often you will come across the advice that you want to avoid pacifiers and bottles until breastfeeding is well established. Typically 4 weeks is the earliest recommended time to introduce artificial nipples. When we were in the early days of feeding, mentally I knew I could not make it to 4 weeks. I knew that I needed a break in order for healing to begin, and my milk supply was fine. So I started pumping during the late evening feeding and my husband would give our baby a bottle at that time. It was a huge relief knowing that I had at least one feeding that I could have a little break (if you could even consider pumping a break).
Our baby also was a huge comfort nurser. He just wanted to suck to sleep all the time. By transitioning him onto a pacifier I was able to let my nipples get a break and he was still able to receive the soothing that he needed. We had no issues with nipple confusion and our baby continued to transition easily from breast to bottle to pacifier.
7. Pumping when necessary
There were times that I couldn’t bring myself to feed my son on my “sore side”. It is possible that because I am right handed, nursing on the left comes so much easier. Trying to nurse him on the right side was much more difficult. Because of that my right side became much more sore. My son is over six months old now and I still struggle with soreness on that side from time to time. I was terrified about using the pump at first because I did not want to jeopardize my supply. I did not need to be so worried. One lactation consultant suggested that in order to get through those really difficult times I could feed him on my good side, and just pump my sore side for a little while. I would not recommend doing this for an extended period of time, but just to get through a feeding or two I think it is okay to do.
8. Uninterrupted hot showers
During this challenging time it is so important to look after your own health and wellbeing. When I thought about what would be most relaxing and helpful, all I wanted to do was take a hot shower. This was my way of allowing myself to take care of me, so I could take care of my baby. If you have some helping hands ask them to watch the baby for you after you have fed your baby, so you get the most time to yourself as possible. It doesn’t have to be a hot shower, it can be whatever you feel that you need to do for yourself. Some ideas might be a nap, bath, or massage.
9. Knowing it would get better
Nothing was more frustrating than seeing a lactation consultant and being told that there is nothing that they can do for me because I was doing everything right. I guess I should have accepted the compliment, but it was so frustrating. No one told me, just hang in there, keep doing what you are doing and it will get better. So I just believed in myself, believed in my baby and we made it happen. It did get better, it isn’t perfect, it still isn’t, but it is better. I am so glad that we kept at it because breastfeeding my son has been very rewarding. There is nothing sweeter than holding your baby, feeding them and creating a safe place for them to be loved and comforted.
