Dealing with Night Terrors – our story and solutions

Dealing with night terrors in my son has been a bit of a traumatic experience for me and my partner. It is tough to watch your child just scream with nothing but fear and terror on his face. I want to share my experience and what we did that I think helped the most.

My son started having night terrors a few months before a big trip to Australia. This resulted in a lot of stress for all of us. Can you imagine being on an overnight flight and have your child wake up and just start screaming (on top of a 6-month-old coming along)? Well, I did… many times.

What are night terrors?

Night terrors are a type of sleep disorder that causes intense fear and panic during sleep. They typically occur during the first few hours of sleep, in the deepest non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep stage. People with night terrors may scream, cry, flail their arms and legs, and sit up in bed. They may also have a racing heart, sweating, and dilated pupils.

They will not remember the next day if you ask them about it. If they do remember, it was probably a nightmare.

Night terrors are most common in children between 3 and 13 years old. They are also more common in boys than in girls. About 5% of children will experience night terrors at some point.

Night Terror Triggers

When dealing with night terrors, look for the child’s triggers. It may be helpful to keep a journal of sleep and food or anything else you may think could cause the night terrors.

No one knows for sure. For my son, I believe it was a mix of stress and tiredness. We noticed when he had a tough time falling asleep, and if he did not make up for it within a few nights, we would have a night terror.

I have read other things like caffeine, medication, and being sick/fever can cause it, but that does not apply to my son. It is something to watch.

Not urinating before bed

I also think needing to go to the toilet during the deep part of sleep was a trigger. My theory is essentially, their brain is being told to wake up but they do not fully wake up. I believe this is a lot of the time my son would need to go to the toilet. In fact, a few times he got up himself and while he was peeing, he would just start screaming. Additionally, he would we the bed or even get up and pee, ummmm, not in a toilet (like the bedside table). Ahhh, parenting… so fun. We had him reduce the liquids before bed and make sure he went right before getting into bed.

Sleep

We struck to more a bedtime. Also, if he seemed extra crabby or emotional, we would have him go to bed a little earlier. Focusing on being calm and relaxed around an hour before bed. This could look like some extra reading time or drawing with some pencils or crayons.

Stress

We homeschool our son, so reducing stress was easy enough. Taking a little break or reducing stress about learning topics. Focusing on play, getting good exercise, and mental stimulation.

Caffeine

While my son isn’t inhaling coffee like we do, cutting out anything with coffee after lunchtime is something we do, like chocolate. TIP: You can replace chocolate things with Carob is a great way to get the chocolate flavor without the caffeine.

How do you comfort someone with night terrors?

Look for things that make it worse

I noticed that when I would go comfort my son, the light on my smart watch would flash and make shadows on the wall. This would make things so much worse. Since then, I have either taken my watch off or hid it under the covers so it would not make any shadows if it did come on. Watch for anything like this.

Comfort

The best approach we found was to talk in a very calm voice and get them back to sleep as quickly as possible. I have seen mentioned to wake them up, but I don’t think that works and can make it worse. Especially if the trigger is being tired and then they have trouble falling asleep again, it becomes a vicious cycle.

Cosleep

An interesting anecdote about cosleeping and night terrors. “By the summer of 2014, PTS’ 3-year-old child had been experiencing four to seven night terrors weekly for several months. Finding this behavior disturbing, PTS standardized the child’s schedule, modified his diet, and monitored for suitability the images and stories to which he was exposed. When these failed to have any discernable effect, PTS subjected the child to scheduled awakenings, which similarly had little impact. Finally, and possibly due to exhaustion, PTS began cosleeping with the child; the child’s night terrors rapidly ceased and have not reoccurred. ” ¹ Something worth noting and considering.

If you are interested, learn about our experience co-sleeping.

1. Boyden SD, Pott M, Starks PT. An evolutionary perspective on night terrors. Evol Med Public Health. 2018 Apr 14;2018(1):100-105. doi: 10.1093/emph/eoy010. PMID: 29765596; PMCID: PMC5941156. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5941156/ ↩︎