Why I Became a Stay-At-Home Mom

Why I Left a Job I Love

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning…

I never really considered being a stay-at-home mom.  But I’ve always known that I wanted to start a family.  My husband wanted to start one early.  I remember that he talked about it a lot before we were married.  I let him know that I wanted to wait.  After all, at the time I was in graduate school for Art Therapy, and I fully intended to complete my degree and have the job of my dreams some day.  Once I completed my Master’s we moved from Australia to the US.  We got married, bought our first home and worked on getting our careers on track.  And we waited…

You see, I’m the kind of person that is motivated to “tick off all the boxes” and do things the “right way”.  I landed a wonderful art therapy position after a year of working in a related field and networking.  I was living the dream.  As an art therapist I was able to work with an amazing team to help our patients.  With the possibility of starting a family now closer to becoming a reality, we waited still.  I wanted to settle into my new role within the team and really establish myself in the job until I was ready to become a mom.

Finally Ready!

We were lucky that when we decided that it was time to become parents everything fell into place.  During my pregnancy many asked if I would return to work once the baby was born.  I believed that after having a baby that I would be so excited to go back to work because I did not think that doing “baby stuff” all day would appeal to me.  “I need fulfillment, a grown-up job, to have intelligent conversations” I told my friends, my family and myself.  Also, and probably most importantly, I had worked so hard to get to where I was, I couldn’t just give that up.  I wouldn’t want to. 

Many of the people that I talked to seemed to approve of this decision.  It almost seemed expected, especially with working moms being the norm these days.  However, one person shared their personal advice that will stick with me forever.  “You might change your mind when the baby is born” was a gentle suggestion offered by my one and only sister.  I assured her that I had worked too hard not to return to work.

I Should Have Listened Better

When our baby boy finally arrived my whole world changed in the best way possible.  I know that I am not unique in this as many parents feel this way.  I count myself amongst the lucky ones that was full of joy and happy tears to welcome our sweet son into our lives.  My 12 weeks of maternity leave were wonderful.  Staying home and bonding with our little one was the most important thing that I could do.

I took full advantage of soaking in every special moment.  I let him nurse to sleep, I held him as long as I wanted to and I napped when he napped.  Voice recorded journal entries that I made captured special memories that I didn’t want to forget.  You can also read my post about how to cherish your newborn.

When it was time for me to head back to work my husband then took his paternity leave.  13 weeks with Daddy allowed my guys to form a close connection.  It also helped make my transition back to work so much easier.  Leaving my son for the first time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  At least I knew that my son was in good hands and I even got to check in with them during my lunch breaks.  My husband made sure that I got photos and short videos so that I could see what they were up to.  Then, those weeks flew by and all of a sudden our baby went to daycare. Whoa! My heart was not prepared for what happened next.

The day care we chose to send our son to is one of the best in our area.  Not only do they have a great reputation with parents, they also take care of cloth diapering, organic meals, and they also provide a bi-lingual immersion program in Spanish.

Eventually I Listened to My Heart

We loved the program, we loved the staff, we did not love how we felt.  We decided to give it more time.  Knowing that sending your firstborn into the care of another is an emotional thing.  But waking up at 5 am to get everyone fed and ready for the day, then only seeing baby for an hour or two at night was draining.  It was clear that even though the day care was wonderful, our little guy was overstimulated and exhausted when he got home.  Not to mention we were missing out on precious time with him.  I didn’t want to be living for the weekend.  So, we re-evaluated the situation, looked at our finances and we were then faced with a really tough decision. Was it time to become a stay-at-home mom?

They Are Only Little Once

We talked a lot about what was going to happen next.  Ultimately even though I loved my job, I longed to be with my son.  Time was flying by so quickly, and the bottom line was I didn’t want to miss out on any more time with him.  He is already into the second half of his first year.  My baby is growing up, and as he grows he is becoming more and more fun to be around.

Did I want to leave my job?  Not really!  I liked my work, my colleagues and the patients.  It was nice to have the routine and a sense of accomplishment.  However, this precious time in my life will only be here for a short while.

Promoted to Full-Time Stay-At-Home Mom!

I love being a mom more than I ever thought possible.  I’m so glad that I have a husband who supported this decision, who saw the benefit that becoming a stay-at-home mom would be for our whole family.  It is also not lost on me that I am fortunate that we are in a position to make this dream a reality.

And how do I feel that I initially went back to work?  I’m glad that I gave it a try.  I owed it to myself and my family for all that was invested in that particular path.  Now we know what is right for our family.  And some day, when I am recounting my life and looking back on these cherished times I know that I will be happy that I chose to stay home.  It really gives a whole new meaning to our blog name “Promoted to Parent”!

On a side note: my husband also would have been an excellent choice for stay-at-home parent.  I’m convinced he would be great at it.  He proved it to me for 13 weeks.  Although, as the primary breadwinner it made more sense for me to stay home.  Thankfully, that experience allows him to sympathize with my new day-to-day routine.